I know no one reading this is currently applying for the position of being my best buddy, BUT if you belong to one or more of the groups below, you can forget about it.
- people who want to show you something on your computer and quickly decide to use your keyboard and mouse.
- people who lick their fingers to get the grease, cheese, whatever off.
- people who come to work when they're sick. they think they're like martyrs, giving it their all despite being sick and, probably contagious
- nail biters. if you're that hungry, get some food. some people go after their nails so hard, it's like watching Alive.
- people who speak in questions. and Then MY FRIEND?, he Went TO HOUSTON? it sounds like someone doing the scales on a piano.
- people who use the word 'tummy'. use stomach, belly, gut, or abdomen. no one older than 6 months has a tummy.
- people who say "don't go there" "I'm not gonna go there" "no you di-int"
- girls who refer to their friends as "chiquita" "chicky"
- people who refer to their parents as "madre and padre" "my parentals" or by their first name
- people who chew their ice, shake the cup, chew their ice, shake the cup, and so on...I can't stand the up and down sound of ice going from the bottom of the cup, up to someone's mouth, then back down
- people who are totally different around their significant other. if you are, you married the wrong person, dude. or they did.
- people who take things too seriously. not everything is deep. Example: you
- insecure parents. kids are kids. don't freak out and offer lame reasons or explanations when your kid cries or gets mad or screws up. it's a child. they act like children.
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3 comments:
Dude- you are Captain Pet Peeve! I am so many of those things. I think I have uttered the "di-int" before and surely if you've ever eaten a Dorito, you know the good part is left on your fingers! P.S. have you seen Dale Carter's stache' lately? I'm sorry to be on the blacklist, but soon you'll be left all alone! No man is an island.
Guys like Dale and my brother are funny enough to pull off a mustache.
Don't sweat the pet peeves - it's a joke.
Please add to this list:
-People who breath really loudly while working out. This might be good in the NFL locker rooms but the lady on the eliptical next to me (I swear I normally run but hurt my knee, I recognize that elypticals are gay) was gasping for air and counting down "GASP! only forty-five more seconds. GASP! you can do it. GASP! Almost done. It made me extremely uncomfortable. I cut my workout way short. By the way, does Rob have a stache or were you posing a hypothetical?
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